


Getting Horny

by DeepInTheLight



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, F/M, Naked Female Clothed Male, Sex, Taser and Tricks, Woman on Top
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 18:42:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29458440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeepInTheLight/pseuds/DeepInTheLight
Summary: Loki comes back to Earth to retrieve his helmet, but finds himself encountering a rather attractive obstacle.Set between The Dark World and Ragnarok, when Loki was ruling Asgard under the disguise of Odin
Relationships: Darcy Lewis/Loki
Kudos: 38





	Getting Horny

“Humans and their security measures”, Loki muttered to himself as he marched through the long hall leading to his destination, well aware the surveillance devices on the walls were unable to cut through his magical disguise.

He couldn’t have entrusted this task to anyone, not only because he didn’t trust anybody, but also because the need to travel to Midgard to get the horny helmet lost by the mischievous prince was a danger to his cover. Sure, the way he played the grieving-over-son Allfather would’ve caused envy from every acclaimed theatre performer on Asgard if they ever knew about it (but they weren’t going to), but the less chances to cause suspicion the better, that Loki knew well.

So when he found himself missing those exact horns, all he needed was to make an easy journey through the Byfrost to the inferior planet that wasn’t even deserving of his rule.

There was a door protected by some sort of a mechanism that was no match for his magic, and it didn’t take much effort and time to get behind it. The storage place he entered was slightly reminiscent of Odin’s vault, but more cramped up and definitely smaller.

A couple of head turns later Loki saw his belonging sitting proudly in a corner. It still looked majestic, so much more expensive and luxurious than all the inferior shit in the place.

“Hey!” A high voice suddenly interrupted Loki’s thoughts about his glory. “Who are you and what are you doing here?”

Loki turned around with no rush just to see a small woman standing in the corner. He had no clue where she came from, she could’ve been here the entire time – he was surely above wasting his sights on mere mortals– or maybe she came in through another door or something, but now she was standing there, hands outstretched to his direction and holding something that she probably considered a weapon. It looked even more miserable than the pocket-sized stuff the redhead Avenger tried using against his army, while the woman herself was…surprisingly cute, in fact. She had long dark hair and strange-looking glasses covering her eyes, plump lips and rather seductive curves, which he noticed despite the loose formless outfit she wore.

“Just a guard, my lady,” Loki put on his most charming smile – well, as charming as it could come out through the impression of a skin that was no match to his own. “I’m here to take this to a superior on order.”

Loki didn’t know anything about the hierarchy of the place or even what exactly the place was and who was in charge of it, but he was intelligent enough to understand there had to be a superior, and the disguise of a guard he took over from one of those he saw leaving the building earlier.

“In this hour?” the woman asked, eyeing him suspiciously. Then, before he could come up with a smart reply, she moved her hand and Loki found himself knocked down on the floor, losing his magical disguise in the process.

“Ouch,” was all he could say as the woman approached him, not lowering her weapon - which might have looked silly, but was actually capable of bringing a demi-god to the floor shaking like he’s been hit by lighting. He had been in fact, as the shivers and the fall were caused by nothing else than an actual strike of lighting that had somehow been emitted from the ridiculous weapon.

“Wait, what?” the woman looked perplexed as she stepped closer, staring at him attentively. “Who are you?”

Loki frowned, unsure for once in his life what kind of answer would be the best to give.

“You’re Loki, aren’t you?” the woman answered her own question. “The Asgardian monster who killed thousands in New York in 2012?”

“Glad I’m remembered,” Loki spoke as he slowly stood up. The woman pointed her weapon at him.

“Don’t move!” she shouted. “I’m gonna give you in!”

“What, are the Avengers lurking around somewhere in the corners?” Loki wondered mockingly. “You don’t seriously think some of your ridiculous mortal guards can handle me?”

“Well, I just handled you!” the woman insisted.

That was certainly not what he wanted to hear. Loki was a master of quick solutions though, and he didn’t need to wait long until coming up with one. “Come on,“ he spoke, putting on his best charm once again, “perhaps we can come to an agreement?”

“What kind of an agreement?” She stepped back cautiously, but Loki couldn’t help but notice a glimmer of interest in her eyes.

“Listen, all I need here is this helmet,” he half-turned and waved his hand at the object. “It belongs to me, and it has no value to your people. Just let me take it and I’ll be gone. In exchange I can give you something else.”

“Something else?” she was indeed interested. “Like what?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” he shrugged, thinking of Odin’s passion for gathering items that didn’t carry value and did nothing but occupy place in the vault. “I have plenty of shiny things on Asgard in my possession that are just as useless as this.”

The woman frowned at him, and Loki found himself acknowledging it made her look even cuter. “Why do you need it then if it’s so useless?” she asked then.

“Because it’s mine!” he insisted. She may be cute, but she didn’t appear bright.

“Wait, wait, wait,” the woman suddenly started chanting, and Loki could swear he saw her brain working. “Weren’t you dead by chance?” Good question. Maybe she wasn’t stupid after all.

“Oh, come on, did you expect the mighty god of mischief to stay dead for a long time?” Loki gave her a smile, and more of an explanation than he should.

The woman seemed intrigued, which was how Loki felt. It was time to take this strange conversation to a further phase.

“So tell me, uh, - what’s your name, by the way?”

“I’m Darcy. Doctor Darcy Lewis.” The name was strange to his ears, but probably normal for Midgard. The designation though – he knew what it meant, and it didn’t suit at all.

“Doctor?” If anything, she didn’t resemble a doctor the slightest.

“Well, I haven’t gotten my degree yet, but it’s a matter of months,“ she started explaining. “And that I’m stuck here doing the dusty work doesn’t diminish it.”

“Alright, doctor Darcy, what about our agreement then?” he pressed on the important matter of the moment.

“We didn’t come to it.” Gods, this woman was unbearable.

“Listen, doctor,” Loki continued, “I know you’re smart, and you know as well as I do that this,” – he pointed at the helmet again, – “is a piece of rubbish to you. You can receive something valuable in exchange, so what’s there to consider?”

“It’s against the rules!” The look on her face didn’t quite go together with her words though.

“Would I be wrong assuming knocking people down like you did is not quite going by the rules either?” He knew he wasn’t wrong, and Loki enjoyed seeing a spark his words ignited in her stare.

“Alright,“ she said then. “We can make an agreement, but only by my rules.”

Of course, what else could he expect? “And your rules would be…”

“My rule is that I get to choose my possession myself and you give me whatever it is with no objections.”

Sounded interesting. “Oh, and how are you planning to do that, exactly?”

“Simple, Loki,“ Darcy stared him right in the eye. “Take me to Asgard.”

***

Loki didn’t want to think how it happened when he found himself standing by the wall of Odin’s vault watching an inferior Midgardian carefully examine every inch of the possessions Odin had been valuing so deeply for no logical reason.

And why the hell was it getting him aroused to watch this weird person going through things someone like her shouldn’t even be allowed to lay their eyes on, not to speak of touching? He must’ve gone crazy, that seemed like the only explanation.

“You know what?” Darcy’s high voice suddenly interrupted his thoughts, “I think one item won’t be enough.”

“Excuse me?” Loki answered. This was really starting to get on his nerves. But before he could get angry as he should, Darcy was standing way closer to him than appropriate, staring at him with a wildish gaze.

“You know,” she put her palm onto his chest, “I think I need something long, and thick, and demi-god-ish so that I can be satisfied.” Her hand moved lower and rested just over his crotch. “If only there weren’t so many layers stopping me from getting it.”

“An adventurous doctor you are, Darcy,” Loki admitted, bending down to kiss her. Her lips tasted like honey, and he couldn’t wait for more.

“I sure am,” she smiled mischievously. “Can we get somewhere more comfortable perhaps?” she suggested then.

“Sure can,” Loki said and picked her up to carry her to his quarters, making sure the only thing anyone who might pass by saw was Odin carrying a sack. Loki knew the Allfather would never half-run carrying anything heavier than his old staff, but the locals were already used to their king behaving rather out of character the last couple of years.

Once the pair achieved their destination, Loki was on his back again, only this time he landed on his fairly comfortable bed instead of a hard floor. Darcy’s hot lips were instantly on his, and his hands gripped her hips tightly.

“Let’s see my _possession_ , shall we?” Darcy murmured as her clever hands made their way to his trousers and tugged at them. Loki groaned in satisfaction as she pulled out his hard cock, and his heart swelled with pride when Darcy stared at it, looking completely dumbfounded.

“Like what you see?” he asked confidently, reading her reaction well. Not like he’s seen penises of mere mortals, because of course he hadn’t, but Darcy’s stare confirmed his suspicion he was way better endowed.

“It’s humongous!” Darcy shouted out before putting out her tongue and giving him a long lick. “Tastes good, too.” she acknowledged.

“Your turn,” Loki spoke, and Darcy quickly pulled her loose outfit over her head, revealing black lacey fabric covering her impressive breasts. Next, she slid off the bed, making Loki whine at the loss, but he was immediately rewarded with the view of Darcy stripping off her pants and boots. When she was left in nothing but her matching undergarments, Darcy quickly searched the room for a place to leave her glasses on – they were apparently more valuable to her than the clothes, which she shamelessly dropped to the floor. She left the glasses on the table by the bed and then climbed back into it, straddling Loki.

“Like what you see?” she teased, repeating his own words. In response, Loki put both palms to cup her breasts through the lace.

“Gotta admit I do,” he spoke honestly, massaging the flesh.

“Oh,” Darcy released a moan, then reached behind to unclasp her garment and slid the straps down her arms, then removed it completely as Loki let go to give her space for that. Her breasts looked even better with nothing shielding them from the view, and Loki sat up, bending awkwardly, to touch the right nipple with his tongue.

“Gods, yes!” Darcy shouted as he caressed her breast, squeezing the other one in his palm before switching sides. While his tongue did its work on the hardened nipple, Loki’s left hand made its way down her flat stomach and then lower, diving into her soaked underwear and finding the dripping folds that he slowly explored with his fingers.

“Yes, yes!” Darcy kept screaming, and Loki would honestly do the same if his mouth wasn’t occupied with her tit. Darcy’s hands were on his shoulders until one of them found its way into his hair and tugged, and Loki wouldn’t say he liked his precious hair being treated that way, but Darcy was so hot and responsive he could endure it for a while.

His right hand made it into Darcy’s underwear as well, only in the back part, and he squeezed her ass.

“Loki! I need to fuck you now!” Darcy’s voice sounded like a plea, and who was he to deny her.

He slowly removed his hands from her flesh and lay back again, and then found his mouth watering as he watched Darcy slowly raise herself off him just to get rid of her underpants, then settle back on him, dragging her wet center all over his cock.

“This must be the hottest experience of my life,” she half-whispered as she took his hard penis in one hand and gave him a couple of strokes. Then she lifted off to position it at her entrance and started sinking down slowly.

“You alright there, sweetheart?” Loki found himself asking when she let out a groan that could indicate notable discomfort as much as pleasure.

“Never felt better,” Darcy pronounced throatily. “It’s just huge!”

Then she took in the rest of him and gasped loud when they were completely united, and in response Loki released a sound that he really didn’t know the name to.

“Gods, feels so good!” Darcy moaned as she raised higher again and then took him in completely once more.

“Agree,” Loki muttered, putting his hands to her hips. Darcy went on moving, increasing the pace with each trust, and somewhere in the back of his muffled mind Loki made a note this must be the best sex he’s ever had.

“Come for me,” he demanded when he felt his own orgasm approaching with the speed of sound, finding her clit and rubbing it in firm circles.

“Yeah!” Darcy screamed, riding him even faster. Then she exclaimed even louder and Loki felt her tightness squeeze him and throb around him, and he thrust up to give her everything he had, experiencing what was definitely the best orgasm of his entire life.

Darcy lifted herself off him then and lay on her back next to him, panting as hard and fast as he was.

“Oh wow,” she spoke. “I could get used to this.”

“Well, you still haven’t chosen your other possession,” Loki acknowledged. “So maybe you can stick around for a bit and make sure you choose well.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Darcy turned to lie on her side and put her hand to Loki’s chest, still covered by his thick clothing. “Still some layers to uncover in my second possession, I suppose.”

Smiling back at her, Loki thought this indeed sounded like a plan.


End file.
